Recycled Ocean Plastic Butter Knife
A butter knife with a handle made from abandoned fishing nets pulled off British beaches. Every crumpet you…
via Holly & Co
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Squid, Octopus and Sardines Tinned Fish Box
Posh tinned octopus, squid and sardines for the tinned fish date night TikTok won’t shut up about.
via The Tinned Fish Market
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Seletti Monkey Lamp
Marcantonio's brooding primate, clutching a single bulb for eternity. One of those design objects people…
via Seletti UK
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Death Row Recipes Cookbook
A short, dark cookbook that pairs the actual final meal of each death-row inmate with the crime that put them…
via Firebox
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Coravin Pivot+ Wine System
Swap your bottle's cork or cap for a posh stopper that pours through it with argon, keeping your wine fresh…
via Coravin
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Tunnock’s Tea Cake Umbrella
An officially licensed Tunnock's Tea Cake wrapper, stretched over a full-size umbrella, so you walk through…
via Gillian Kyle
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LEGO Nintendo NES
LEGO describe this recreation of the Nintendo SNES as a “display piece for the discerning adult builder.”…
via Amazon UK
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Au Vodka Mystery Bottle
A full 70cl Au Vodka bottle in their iconic gold get-up. You don’t know which flavour until you peel the…
via Au Vodka
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Crisp Bouquet
A hand-wrapped bouquet of crisps from CrispDelight in York. Ask for their favourite flavours, then try not to…
via CrispDelight on Etsy
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Joe Corten Steel Bear
A life-size steel bear for the garden that rusts on purpose. Costs about the same as a used car, and is…
via Milk Concept Boutique
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Grim Steeper Tea Infuser
A tiny Grim Reaper for your loose-leaf tea. Hang his scythe over the mug and give Death a quiet job in the…
via Amazon UK
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Cat Hot Water Bottle
A standard hot water bottle wrapped in a plush cover that looks uncannily like a sleeping cat. Houseguests…
via Suck UK
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Alessi Juicy Salif Lemon Squeezer
Philippe Starck sketched it on a napkin in a pizzeria and it ended up in MoMA. Officially a lemon squeezer…
via Heal's
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Loch Ness Tea Monster
A tea-riffic green silicone Loch Ness Monster infuser. Head and humps poke out of your mug while loose-leaf…
via Amazon UK
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Insert Coin LED Trailer Hitch Cover
A trailer hitch cover lit like a 1980s arcade coin-slot panel. By day, a metal plate. By night, a glowing…
via Etsy
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Crook to Cook Cookbook
Fifty recipes from a fried bologna sandwich to lobster thermidor, most nicked from Snoop's show with Martha…
via Amazon UK
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The Judgy Jar
A handmade ceramic storage jar from Stan Mugs that stands on your counter with its arms on its hips, silently…
via Amazon UK
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Hand Grenade Keyring with Toxic Waste Chilli Extract
A grenade-shaped keyring carrying 5ml of nine-million-Scoville chilli extract. For the mate who brings their…
via Hot-Headz
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Stressticles Stress Balls
Two soft squishy stress balls in a small pouch, shaped exactly like a pair of bollocks. It's the desk fidget…
via Firebox
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Mix Tape USB Stick
A cassette-style USB pack with space to write on. The most low-key romantic gift on the internet.
via Amazon UK
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John Bercow Hot Water Bottle
The former Speaker of the House, printed on a fluffy fleece hot water bottle cover. He'll keep order in the…
via Twisted Twee
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Fuck You From The Sky Kite
A giant middle finger, made of nylon and string. Brutto in A Coruña built it as a personal project against…
via Brutto
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Human Dog Bed
A 170cm fluffy dog bed for an actual adult, with raised sides and a removable cover. Sit. Stay. Ignore the…
via Amazon UK
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Parksible Smart Garage for Model Cars
A miniature Tokyo automated multi-storey car park, sized for Hot Wheels, with an app and a scanning camera on…
via Fun Tech Lab
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Heatable Happy Hot Potato
A microwavable plush potato with an embroidered face. Heat it for two minutes, hug it, repeat for the…
via Firebox
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Cheeky Push-Down Figurine Night Light
A 30cm white figurine night light with a yellow pleated shade. Tasteful from across the room. The on switch…
via Etsy
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Hakuna Mafuckit Desk Plate
A gold-on-black desk plaque engraved with the words Hakuna Mafuckit. The motto, for the type of working week…
via Red Candy
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Rabbit Eraser & Magnifying Glass
A vintage 1980s Japanese eraser with magnifying glass. Rabbit Brand, unused, built 85mm long in perfect…
via Present & Correct
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Love You F*ck You Vase
Me Old China hand-thrown electric blue earthenware vase, glazed with LOVE YOU F*CK YOU across the side.
via Me Old China
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Helvetica in Arial Tote Bag
A cotton tote printed with the word 'Helvetica', set in Arial. The cheapest, cruellest typography joke there…
via Cindy Rochlen
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Counter-Print Object Logos
108 pages of trademarks built from actual things: scissors, keys, trumpets, staplers. A pocket-sized logo…
via Counter-Print
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Monroé Plush Spade Pillow
A spade-shaped sherpa cushion with a face embroidered into it in raised thread and appliqué. The expression…
via Maison & Fitch
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Love Will Tear Us Apart Jug
A Bella Freud jug featuring the words to Joy Division's biggest hit. 100% bone china and 16.5cm tall. UK…
via Bella Freud
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Bee Revival Kit Keyring
An aluminium keyring with a refillable vial of bee food syrup, for the moment you find a knackered bee and…
via BEEVIVE
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You Wouldn’t Download a Cat Tee
Threadheads resurrected the early-2000s anti-piracy advert and put it on an oversized tee, mostly so you can…
via Threadheads
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LED Christmas Tree Mug
A 200ml ceramic mug shaped like a small Christmas tree, with little fairy lights embedded in the surface…
via Red Candy
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Shakespeare So Lit T-Shirt
The Bard, an old engraving and two words of Gen Z slang. The only Shakespeare they’ll wear willingly.
via 8Ball
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Acrobatic Circus Taxidermy Mouse
A real (ethically sourced) mouse, posed mid-leap through a tiny illuminated circus hoop. He arrives in a…
via Etsy
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Gregg Wallace Engraved Wooden Spoon
A wooden spoon indelibly etched with the head of disgraced MasterChef star Gregg Wallace. He's since…
via Amazon UK
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Au Vodka 12-Can Vest
Twelve cans across your torso, held in place with velcro and a buckle. Au Vodka built the vest. They will…
via Au Vodka
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Kittykey Keycap
If you've ever owned a cat, you already know the feeling of incessant nudging and paws on your computer…
via Duckeys
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Disco Ball Hanging Planter
A genuine mirror-tiled disco ball, hollowed out, fitted with a hanging chain, and pretending to be a plant…
via Firebox
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Realistic Silicone Severed Finger Prop
A platinum-silicone severed finger, hand-painted by a special-effects maker, weighted to feel wrong in the…
via Etsy
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Gracula Vampire Garlic Crusher
A 10cm tall plastic Count Dracula. Pop a clove of garlic in his mouth, twist his head, watch the garlic come…
via Red Candy
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Cocaine Apothecary Jar
A small clear glass jar with a stoppered lid and an aged pharmacy label that just says Cocaine. Looks like it…
via Etsy
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Diet Cunt Clack Fan
A clack fan that says Diet Cunt across it. Pinkswag pitch it at drag shows, Pride and club nights; we'd add…
via Pinkswag
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Fire Extinguisher Mini Bar
A genuine fire extinguisher shell, gutted and refitted as a lockable drinks cabinet with a stained pine…
via TheJerryCanCompany
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Wild Ring
WildRing cast custom silver and gold rings from a place you choose, a coastline, a mountain ridge or a home…
via WildRing Studio
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Sriracha Bottle Ceramic Vase
A ceramic Sriracha bottle with room for flowers in the back. Romance has finally reached the condiments aisle.
via Sous Chef
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Get Your Sh*t Together 2027 Wall Calendar
A 2026 wall calendar with a quietly furious headline above each month and a sticker sheet to mark the days…
via Amazon UK
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